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Making and Keeping Promises

“Be Impeccable With Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.” – Miguel Angel Ruiz

Week Thirty Four:

In preceding weeks, you have established your brilliance and dreams. You have also connected with what is really important to you: your values, needs, and life purpose. And as well discovered how these are currently being expressed in your life.
Now is your opportunity to go deep in finding out how you are being true to yourself adhering to these priorities and coming from a place of integrity to yourself.
Integrity is defined in the Miriam Webster dictionary as “the quality of being honest and fair or the state of being complete or whole.” Reflect on integrity as you currently experience it in life.

1) What is your definition of personal integrity?

2) What are the clues (physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual) you use to notice when you are in integrity?

3) List examples of circumstances or situations are you not in integrity? For each one, what action(s) return you to integrity?
e.g. “I committed to complete X by Y date. It’s beyond that time and I am only halfway through so I was compelled to negotiate a new deadline”

4) Using your examples, identify possible shifts in assumptions or boundaries for action that would increase your ability to maintain integrity?
e.g. I am without integrity in my time keeping. What I need to do is make more realistic assessment of what I can get done and consider doubling my initial estimate.

5) We can gain insight into our values by observing the commitments we make and those we avoid. Aligned words and behaviors provide integrity. When your behavior does not match your words or your promises, you are out of alignment with you personal integrity.
Effective promises commit you to doing enough, but not too much. If you break a promise learn from it. Look at the intentions behind the promise. Are they honorable or is there a need for making amends. If others break their promise to you, you can choose to have a courageous conversation (without resentment) that you can both learn from.
To align what you think and say with how you behave, try the following:

I. Before you commit, explore the consequences of keeping the promise with mental rehearsal and active identification of possible unintended consequences.
II. If something jeopardizes your commitment talk to others, early to allow for renegotiation.
III. Put your commitments in writing with an action plan. Review your list of promises daily and record progress.
IV. Big commitments usually have a ceremony – consider developing a ritual to honor your promise.

This exercise brings a benefit of connecting with how aligned you are with your truth. The greater the level of trust you have in yourself the more you will be able to follow through in transitioning to a purer expression of your core being. Your level of integrity is seen comes directly from your ability to be honest with yourself and your self presentation.