Coaching Healthy Lifestyle

Anger often arises when others do not respond or interact with us the way we want. Maybe they are not delivering something we feel we deserve to receive. Perhaps they are not behaving according to social norms.

However, the idea that we should be treated a certain way is just a construct we have built.

We can release this reactance to not getting what we want by raising awareness of our ability to change our inner being. We can also step into being at peace with the outcome even if it was not our ideal. When we choose to embrace our unwanted experiences and let go of any blame we allow any irritation we might experience to just be.

In a state of sadness, you are in a state of grief and hurt that wants to heal.

We feel sad when we personally identify with the problem and its solution and feel lacking in addressing it. This means we feel a sense of responsibility and blame ourselves for not having the means to make a difference. This helplessness and hopelessness feels awful and so often we do our best to minimize it by not fully acknowledging it.

Metaphorically, we are just hiding it away in the closet. Of course, this means that it still exists even if we turn our attention elsewhere. However, if we clean out the closet we can sort through the aspects that hold the sadness.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the extent to which you can accurately reason about emotions and use emotions and emotional knowledge to enhance your thinking. This means it is the ability to leverage the interplay between your thoughts and your feelings.

There are various models and subscales, but all find a foundation in Daniel Goleman’s original conceptualization of EQ with five different aspects:

• Knowing your emotions – recognition of your emotions, as well as associated strengths, and limitations.
• Managing your emotions – your appropriate use of your emotions and impulses.
• Motivating yourself – your level of focus on meeting intrinsic needs.
• Recognizing and understanding other people’s emotions – your application of empathy.
• Managing relationships (others’ emotions) – your ability to foster co-operation and buy-in.