Blog Posts

Many of us have a habit of either being “No” champions or “Yes” enthusiasts when it comes to protecting ourselves. It’s like we’ve got boundary superpowers! But here’s the catch – both of these extremes of being too closed or too open might be unhealthy.

People who say “No” as a knee-jerk reaction don’t stop to consider the possibilities. As soon as they feel the pressure to do something they react by closing it down. Behind this is a lack of trust in the other person.

Conversely, people who overwhelmingly say “Yes” often do so to appease the other person without consideration of their own wants and needs. Behind this is an unwarranted trust in others and a belief that it is not safe to push back.

How can you embrace change like a Yogi? In Hinduism, there are four main paths by which a follower can reach liberation. These paths are:

Gnana – the path of knowledge and surrendering to what you know and don’t know;
Bhakti – the path of devotion and feeling love for all;
Karma – the path of selfless service being joyful in any activity; and
Raja – the royal path of meditation including kriya for awareness of prana and the mechanics of life.

These are the four ways to engage with life. Each requires commitment and intentionally living your life a certain way. Each requires making choices about how you are going to live your life, which habits you will pursue, and which changes you will make.

There is a story describing what happens if you are willing to engage on all four paths.

The book Atomic Habits: An easy and proven way to build good habits and break bad ones by James Clear is a great review and application of how instrumental conditioning drives behavior. What is unique about it is that it takes how we respond to reward and punishment and applies it intentionally to change our behavior.

James lays out a case for the cumulative impact of good habits. He begins by stating that if you improve by 1% a day for a year your overall improvement will be more than 37%. However, you may not notice much difference with repeated use of habits until critical thresholds are reached. For example, with weight loss, exercise begins by building muscle, and then at a certain point your muscle mass is sufficient to burn the fat.

Transformation to mastery can be slow and persisting with small improvements can be challenging when the results are not immediately apparent. However, desired outcomes are a lagging measure of your habits so persistence is key.

Intentional use of habits improves all areas of life. For example, repeated action leads to automaticity that frees resources for other activities making you more productive. Repeated learning leads to greater availability of mental resources. Repeated investment in relationships leads to stronger connections. Conversely, not intentionally improving habits in these areas results in greater stress, less mental health, and a weaker support structure.

The Law of attraction at its core states that you get what you are focused on. This focus is epitomized by what we think and say which is why the book The Power of Words … that free me! by Jacques Martel is so important.

The words you use create your reality and follow from your thoughts. Do these thoughts represent freedom and love or, conversely, do they draw you away from freedom and love?

According to Jacques, every word is related to spiritual reality. Words have a vibration so better to use the ones that are life-giving. The intention behind the words used also carries a vibration that acts in concert to intensify or weaken the vibration of the word. This means that self-talk that is not loving weakens your own being. Furthermore, thoughts of others that are not loving weaken them and the exchange.