Elizabeth Saigal

One way to maintain a positive mindset is to always look for the gift in everything that happens. This is sometimes challenging in something that seems objectively bad. However, there is always a benefit, and applying this uplifting perspective increases resilience and counteracts any tendency to dwell on misfortune.

The Three Gifts Technique is a concept introduced by Shirzad Chamine in his book on Positive Intelligence. It is designed to support shifting to and strengthening the sage perspective and the sage powers of empathize, explore, innovate, navigate, and activate.

If you are having difficulty in finding any upside to a particular situation you can begin by thinking of at least three ways a problem could be turned into a gift or opportunity at some point in the future.

Having to overcome a challenge or correct a mistake strengthens our ability to handle these obstacles. This provides a smoother ride the next time we encounter something similar. Looking for the gifts allows us to minimize the time and energy lost in ruminating about the things that have befallen and be at choice in being proactive.

The Three Gifts Technique empowers us on three different levels. These are Knowledge, Power, and Inspiration.

The thoughts, feelings, and behaviors experienced in our earliest environments lead to establishing patterns that provided reassurance and made us feel safe at that time. These responses were primarily directed at reducing punishment, maximizing reward, and minimizing personal loss. As a child with little control, these saboteur programs served us well. However, as an adult with full responsibility for our lives, these same programs undermine our progress. It is possible to improve mental fitness by rewriting these programs.

In his book “Positive Intelligence: Why only 20% of teams and individuals achieve their true potential and how you can achieve yours”, Shirzad Chamine describes nine Saboteurs (programs) with defining thoughts, feelings, and behaviors associated with them. They are labeled Controller, Stickler, Avoider, Hyper-Achiever, Pleaser, Victim, Restless, Hyper-Vigilant, and Hyper-Rational. He also details an overarching Judge that works alongside these Saboteurs. Our Judge loads these program parameters and uses them as a yardstick by which we evaluate and make decisions.

The first step towards better mental fitness is recognizing the Judge and the accomplice Saboteurs. Read on to find out how each one is characterized.