Coaching Healthy Lifestyle

This is a summary of The Five Love Languages: The secret to love that lasts by Gary Chapman.

When we are in the early stages of a relationship with rose-colored glasses and presenting our best behavior, we may overlook faults and may naturally be speaking each others’ love language. As the relationship matures, however, the pattern may shift with changing circumstances such as a focus on career or children or adopting learned behaviors from roles experienced in our own upbringing. This may squeeze out behaviors in which we previously engaged.

One way to view it, according to Gary, is that we have a love tank that is filled by our partner that ranges from empty (0) to full (10). If it is near empty, intentionally using the right love language can move it to full. He noticed five reoccurring themes over time as he was counseling people through problems in their marriages. These languages of love are 1) words of affirmation, 2) quality time, 3) receiving gifts, 4) acts of service, and 5) physical touch.

Read More »The Five Love Languages: Review and coaching application

People spend the majority of their time and energy meeting the demands of their work and career. How each of us applies this time and energy has important consequences for the way our needs are met. Social distancing has had a considerable impact on the patterns of behavior we had in place to met our needs.

For some of us, work is now being done from home. This may mean you are making adjustments to the way collaboration takes place using different systems to connect securely as needed.

For some, it has meant being furloughed or laid off. You could find yourself unexpectedly seeking new employment.

For some, there is more work than ever. Perhaps there has been a flood for extra demand in your industry. Maybe you are juggling roles that were previously done by others, such as childcare and cleaning. Maybe the new safety requirements stretch your resources.

Changes to your work and career may have you identifying different needs or aspects that feel like they are missing. Added pressures may mean some needs are being neglected or undermined. Radical shifts in the way your job is done may mean that you have to opt to meet some needs differently. Our work and career are fundamental to so many of these needs because our income provides for our lifestyle. Empower yourself by actively choosing the way you wish to meet these needs.

Read More »How Work and Career Choices Meet Your Needs

With the pandemic, there has been a radical change in social behavior. Over the last couple of months of adaptation, many of us have been feeling a little overwhelmed.

The stress associated with relationship loss, job relocation, home instability, illness, and changing behaviors is well known. COVID-19 has made all of these a real possibility or a reality. It is testing our ability to adapt to support ourselves and our dependents.

Check-in right now and take a deep breath and let it go. Take comfort that these restrictions will not be in place forever. And, whatever specific challenges you are dealing with at this time will pass. At this moment, are you doing what is needed? In this instant, are you giving yourself space to adjust? Right now are you giving yourself time to let go and grieve?

Stress comes from making lots of changes in a small space of time. This includes changes to our routines and behaviors as well as changes in our expectations and plans.

Stress also comes from disruption to our sense of control over our life outcomes. There has been a lot of change in our perception of what is predictable. Our careers, investments, and even our lifespan all appear to have increased instability.

Read More »Managing the Stress of Radical Change