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The Three Gifts Technique

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One way to maintain a positive mindset is to always look for the gift in everything that happens. This is sometimes challenging in something that seems objectively bad. However, there is always a benefit, and applying this uplifting perspective increases resilience and counteracts any tendency to dwell on misfortune.

The Three Gifts Technique is a concept introduced by Shirzad Chamine in his book on Positive Intelligence. It is designed to support shifting to and strengthening the sage perspective and the sage powers of empathize, explore, innovate, navigate, and activate.

If you are having difficulty in finding any upside to a particular situation you can begin by thinking of at least three ways a problem could be turned into a gift or opportunity at some point in the future.

Having to overcome a challenge or correct a mistake strengthens our ability to handle these obstacles. This provides a smoother ride the next time we encounter something similar. Looking for the gifts allows us to minimize the time and energy lost in ruminating about the things that have befallen and be at choice in being proactive.

The Three Gifts Technique empowers us on three different levels. These are Knowledge, Power, and Inspiration.

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Banish your Saboteur Programs and Get Mentally Fit

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head-607480_1920 pixbayThe thoughts, feelings, and behaviors experienced in our earliest environments lead to establishing patterns that provided reassurance and made us feel safe at that time. These responses were primarily directed at reducing punishment, maximizing reward, and minimizing personal loss. As a child with little control, these saboteur programs served us well. However, as an adult with full responsibility for our lives, these same programs undermine our progress. It is possible to improve mental fitness by rewriting these programs.

In his book “Positive Intelligence: Why only 20% of teams and individuals achieve their true potential and how you can achieve yours”, Shirzad Chamine describes nine Saboteurs (programs) with defining thoughts, feelings, and behaviors associated with them. They are labeled Controller, Stickler, Avoider, Hyper-Achiever, Pleaser, Victim, Restless, Hyper-Vigilant, and Hyper-Rational. He also details an overarching Judge that works alongside these Saboteurs. Our Judge loads these program parameters and uses them as a yardstick by which we evaluate and make decisions.

The first step towards better mental fitness is recognizing the Judge and the accomplice Saboteurs. Read on to find out how each one is characterized.

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Embracing Love in Your Core Being

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We all experience chatter from the stream of consciousness that runs in our minds. This self-talk is frequently out of alignment with love.

To allow more of this self-talk to flow from love, you can check in with some simple affirmations.

Compare how you react from your head, heart, and gut to find out the extent to which you believe them.

By intentionally choosing them as your belief and letting go of any previous framework you can embrace love in your core being.

One way to think of them is as the expression and embracing of love in your mind, body, and soul.

The three statements are as follows:

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How Work and Career Choices Meet Your Needs

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People spend the majority of their time and energy meeting the demands of their work and career. How each of us applies this time and energy has important consequences for the way our needs are met. Social distancing has had a considerable impact on the patterns of behavior we had in place to met our needs.

For some of us, work is now being done from home. This may mean you are making adjustments to the way collaboration takes place using different systems to connect securely as needed.

For some, it has meant being furloughed or laid off. You could find yourself unexpectedly seeking new employment.

For some, there is more work than ever. Perhaps there has been a flood for extra demand in your industry. Maybe you are juggling roles that were previously done by others, such as childcare and cleaning. Maybe the new safety requirements stretch your resources.

Changes to your work and career may have you identifying different needs or aspects that feel like they are missing. Added pressures may mean some needs are being neglected or undermined. Radical shifts in the way your job is done may mean that you have to opt to meet some needs differently. Our work and career are fundamental to so many of these needs because our income provides for our lifestyle. Empower yourself by actively choosing the way you wish to meet these needs.

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Managing the Stress of Radical Change

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With the pandemic, there has been a radical change in social behavior. Over the last couple of months of adaptation, many of us have been feeling a little overwhelmed.

The stress associated with relationship loss, job relocation, home instability, illness, and changing behaviors is well known. COVID-19 has made all of these a real possibility or a reality. It is testing our ability to adapt to support ourselves and our dependents.

Check-in right now and take a deep breath and let it go. Take comfort that these restrictions will not be in place forever. And, whatever specific challenges you are dealing with at this time will pass. At this moment, are you doing what is needed? In this instant, are you giving yourself space to adjust? Right now are you giving yourself time to let go and grieve?

Stress comes from making lots of changes in a small space of time. This includes changes to our routines and behaviors as well as changes in our expectations and plans.

Stress also comes from disruption to our sense of control over our life outcomes. There has been a lot of change in our perception of what is predictable. Our careers, investments, and even our lifespan all appear to have increased instability.

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