Coaching Modalities

The Three Gifts Technique

by Elizabeth Saigal

One way to maintain a positive mindset is to always look for the gift in everything that happens. This is sometimes challenging in something that seems objectively bad. However, there is always a benefit, and applying this uplifting perspective increases resilience and counteracts any tendency to dwell on misfortune.

The Three Gifts Technique is a concept introduced by Shirzad Chamine in his book on Positive Intelligence. It is designed to support shifting to and strengthening the sage perspective and the sage powers of empathize, explore, innovate, navigate, and activate.

If you are having difficulty in finding any upside to a particular situation you can begin by thinking of at least three ways a problem could be turned into a gift or opportunity at some point in the future.

Having to overcome a challenge or correct a mistake strengthens our ability to handle these obstacles. This provides a smoother ride the next time we encounter something similar. Looking for the gifts allows us to minimize the time and energy lost in ruminating about the things that have befallen and be at choice in being proactive.

The Three Gifts Technique empowers us on three different levels. These are Knowledge, Power, and Inspiration.

by Elizabeth Saigal

The thoughts, feelings, and behaviors experienced in our earliest environments lead to establishing patterns that provided reassurance and made us feel safe at that time. These responses were primarily directed at reducing punishment, maximizing reward, and minimizing personal loss. As a child with little control, these saboteur programs served us well. However, as an adult with full responsibility for our lives, these same programs undermine our progress. It is possible to improve mental fitness by rewriting these programs.

In his book “Positive Intelligence: Why only 20% of teams and individuals achieve their true potential and how you can achieve yours”, Shirzad Chamine describes nine Saboteurs (programs) with defining thoughts, feelings, and behaviors associated with them. They are labeled Controller, Stickler, Avoider, Hyper-Achiever, Pleaser, Victim, Restless, Hyper-Vigilant, and Hyper-Rational. He also details an overarching Judge that works alongside these Saboteurs. Our Judge loads these program parameters and uses them as a yardstick by which we evaluate and make decisions.

The first step towards better mental fitness is recognizing the Judge and the accomplice Saboteurs. Read on to find out how each one is characterized.

by Elizabeth Saigal

We all experience chatter from the stream of consciousness that runs in our minds. This self-talk is frequently out of alignment with love.

To allow more of this self-talk to flow from love, you can check in with some simple affirmations.

Compare how you react from your head, heart, and gut to find out the extent to which you believe them.

By intentionally choosing them as your belief and letting go of any previous framework you can embrace love in your core being.

One way to think of them is as the expression and embracing of love in your mind, body, and soul.

The three statements are as follows:

by Elizabeth Saigal

The root of the word affirmation is affirm. The Merriam Webster dictionary defines this as to validate or confirm, or to state positively.

So, an affirmation is a positive statement or phrase. You can use an affirmation to retrain your mind and challenging negative references.

In the simplest practice, you just pick a positive phrase that describes the way you want to live and repeat it over and over. In this way, committed and disciplined exposure prompts more positive thinking. With many repetitions over time, you adjust your mental framework by building new positive connections. However, the negative connections remain and you might find yourself on occasion bouncing back and forth between the positive and negative. For true stability, add intentionally letting go of any contradictory negative statement.

With deep practice, affirmations are an invaluable tool for accessing mindset. They can be used to identify what your mindset is and to turn it around to increase motivation or raise self-esteem. They provide a way to change and release thinking that you acquired in your formative years when you were too young to process and question many of your experiences.

by Elizabeth Saigal

Coaching always brings the experience of universal connection. Those moments such as witnessing the sunrise or a baby’s first steps, when it is so amazing that you pause your breathe and encounter the stillness. How does this miracle of presence happen? You may ask.

Coaching allows you to be totally present with what you want to achieve. You turn your attention fully onto what you want to get done, make happen, and change. You tune in to how this feels for you which gives you the ability to try it on for size. This is like going into the fitting room. You get feedback from looking in the mirror. How does it actually fit once you get it? You experience the energetic feel of having it done. This informs you as to your level of motivation and what taking action will feel like.

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Coaching Modalities

The Three Gifts Technique

Banish your Saboteur Programs and Get Mentally Fit

Embracing Love in Your Core Being

Affirmations: How to Use Them as a Mindset Miracle

The Miracle of Presence and Conscious Choice