Coaching always brings the experience of universal connection. Those moments such as witnessing the sunrise or a baby’s first steps, when it is so amazing that you pause your breathe and encounter the stillness. How does this miracle of presence happen? You may ask.
Coaching allows you to be totally present with what you want to achieve. You turn your attention fully onto what you want to get done, make happen, and change. You tune in to how this feels for you which gives you the ability to try it on for size. This is like going into the fitting room. You get feedback from looking in the mirror. How does it actually fit once you get it? You experience the energetic feel of having it done. This informs you as to your level of motivation and what taking action will feel like.
The outcome feels positive
You might find that it draws you in and you are excited about what it will be like in the future living with this outcome. This is an indication that you will easily be able to move forward with the flow of making it happen.
The outcome feels negative
However, if conversely, you are repelled and perhaps anxious about what it will be like when the outcome has manifested, you have learned that you are not completely in alignment. This means that there are still things that you can do to shift how you experience your vision. This awareness is very important. It tells you to keep applying coaching tools until this charge dissipates.
- The charge may be released by changing the order of your steps. Your plan has merit but not for right now. Work on other priorities until the time is right.
- You can shift the negative to positive by working to illuminate and elaborate some aspect of your future vision is that off-target or unclear .
- Another alternative is that perhaps there is a piece of the vision that feels scary, a risk that you are frightened to take. This indicates that a mindset shift is needed to comfortably proceed.
If the desired outcome feels negative, do not be disheartened. Know that what you feel right now is not set in stone. You can always consciously choose where to engage.
The outcome feels positive and negative
A common challenge is that the outcome feels both positive and negative. This is because you have two values that are in opposition and that would cause friction if you proceed with your plan as it is.
For example, you might want to market your business and know that this is required to advertise the value you offer and make sales. So, value number one is acknowledging the importance of marketing. However, you also want to keep yourself hidden and out of the limelight. Going public makes you feel exposed and vulnerable. Value number two is keeping yourself safe from hurt. This means to move forward with your plan without it being a painful struggle where you are constantly fighting yourself, you need to use coaching tools and techniques to turn your fear of being vulnerable around. Or, find a new plan that allows you to honor both values such as being a silent partner.
To make this clearer let’s look at this case study.
Rita wants a website as a way to connect with her audience but she finds the thought of building and maintaining one horrific. She has several choices:
- Commit to not having a website and develop her plan for alternative marketing strategies.
- Decide on having a website but outsource its development.
- Decide on having a website and challenge herself to remove the blocks she has from doing it herself. This might involve working through finding the time and believing that she can figure it out.
Experiencing the miracle of presence
As you coach on a topic, the choices available to you are your possibilities. There is no right or wrong. Each time you decide which possibility is the best one for you and this becomes a part of your path forward.
As you try it on for size and look in the mirror and the feedback you get brings you greater awareness. You might experience the miracle of presence in:
Things that surprise you
Perhaps you discover a value that is more important to you than you have currently been representing. This happened to me with creativity and as a result I made it more central to the choices I was making.
A shift from inaction to action
You might have been feeling stuck and experiencing difficulty moving forward. Once you identify the underlying need that wanted to be addressed it releases the cork that was holding you back. Perhaps one piece of your plan is not the best fit and adjusting this allows you to engage. Perhaps a related area of life needs attention before you have the time and energy to invest elsewhere.
Healing in your physiology
This is usually reflected in the energy and tone of your feedback. When you check in with sensations you are experiencing you might identify tension in your body, such as your stomach, shoulder, or eyes. This tension is tied to the challenge and once you find a way through it will release from your body also. One tool you can use here is tapping.
A complete change in what is true for you
There is a charged mindset you have picked up that may have served you at one time but this is no longer the case. Usually, your intuition serves you well here in that you are aware of resisting behaving the way you would usually. identify the related thoughts and whether they are logically true as well as whether you believe them. You can know that something makes sense but not be convinced. Consciously choose the truth that you want to live by.
Letting go of negative emotion
Ultimately, this is always fear but is can show up as anxiety, sadness, shame, and guilt. Follow the negative emotion back to the prompting memory or thoughts and discover the gift of empowerment. The imagined feared outcome is usually just that – a figment. Instead, you find compassion for yourself in the pain being expressed. By allowing and owning the feeling of the negative emotion you find that it has no real hold over you. this is often accompanied by a shift in mindset as above.
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