The space of uncertainty is magical because it contains the seeds of creation. Not Knowing is OK, but it often doesn’t feel that way. When we don’t know, it can be uncomfortable because we have no framework from which to plan our activities in the external world. However, this is a time for internal rather than external movement. A process that is driven by much questioning and reflection and the opportunity to connect to our intuition and higher-self more deeply. Moreover, it is well documented as a critical stage in the developmental cycle. In other words, it is absolutely a part of the human process.
One of these models is Frederick Hudson’s Cycle of Renewal which has four phases.
Go for It
In the Go for it phase, a person has identified clear goals is positive about the future and committed to making it happen. They are experiencing:
Stuck in the Doldrums
In the Stuck in the doldrums phase, a person feels trapped and negative about the future. They are experiencing:
- Disenchantment and dissonance
- Lack of motivation or purpose
- Feeling stuck
In the Cocooning phase, a person turns their focus inward and they begin to tap into core values and awaken to new possibilities. They are experiencing:
- Impatience, ambiguity, and tension around changing
- Seeking alone time or ‘time out’
- Discovery of new life directions and meaning
- Energy renewal and regeneration
In the Getting ready phase, a person is exploring, training, and practicing. They are experiencing:
- Developing new foundations
- Decision making
If you are not exactly sure what comes next, it can feel like you going nowhere and you might want to isolate yourself. These are core features of the Stuck in the doldrums and Cocooning phases of the Cycle of Renewal. Here are three ways to effectively handle this part of the cycle.
- When you find yourself in either of these phases, lean into the experience by making peace with the unknown. Do not resist or be frustrated with not knowing. Give yourself full permission to be in this space. Be willing to admit that you do not know. Embrace it with curiosity and commit to taking the action that you can when you can.
- Not knowing can sometimes hold you back from taking action unless you make ‘the finding out’ the action that you have to take. To aid with this, apply the three steps of Law of Attraction from the last email in the series.
- Address any dejection by listening in to what your inner wisdom says will lift your spirits. You can change your state by getting into a new environment. This might involve getting moving or slowing down. Other possibilities are gratitude work and music. Whatever you need to be uplifted. It might be different than what worked in the past.
The Stuck in the doldrums and Cocooning phases of the Cycle of Renewal provide an opportunity to tune in and get to know yourself and drop the things that no longer serve you. As you come out of this process you will be clearer about your boundaries and have more faith in yourself.
This is self-coaching for when you don’t know and allowing the ambiguity to be a gift.