What if we did not judge things as negative or positive? Is there a way to experience freedom from “bad”?
Every interaction has the potential to be interpreted as negative or positive, influencing our physiology and overall vitality. When we encounter situations that align with our desires, we experience being energized and positive. Conversely, situations that don’t meet our expectations can leave us feeling depleted.
These experiences can result in fears associated with being depleted and not getting the results we want.
The Impact of Fearful Mindsets
These fears paradoxically bring additional stress to everyday interactions. This suffering is usually unconscious and unintentional. Shirzad Chamine’s Positive Intelligence framework characterizes these fearful mindsets as “Saboteurs.” For those with a more positive, or “Sage,” mindset, interacting with someone in a Saboteur state can feel draining, like being around an energy vampire.
These fearful and judgmental mindsets can also be contagious, and any similar saboteur programs we hold can be activated. Think of it like exposure to an infection that you can inoculate yourself against—a cure you can then share with the affected person.
Origins of Saboteur Mindsets
Saboteur mindsets are often acquired through social conditioning and survival mechanisms at a young age, passed down from previous generations. As children, we absorb these mindsets without question, lacking the processing power to evaluate them from a perspective of higher truth.
Generally speaking, our Saboteurs attempt to protect us by shifting into submission or domination. A submissive focus stems from a motivation to avoid punishment, while a dominant focus comes from a drive to secure rewards. Both are seen as a means to get more of what we want.
Inoculation Strategies for Freedom
When you are around people expressing Saboteur programs, you may feel the need to create space and time to recharge. If your own Saboteur programs are activated, it’s helpful to break the cycle through practices like PQ reps (a form of focused concentration akin to meditation in the Positive Intelligence program), breath work, energizing movement, or visualization. Implementing these meditative practices when you recognize your own or another’s Saboteur mindset helps build resilience and maintain positivity. As you notice the triggers and proactively take actions to pattern interrupt, it is also useful to:
Maintain compassion
Be compassionate with yourself and others who run these programs. They are attempts to manage deep-seated fears. Your worst Saboteurs carry immense judgment and make you feel awful about yourself, and this is what others running these programs are also experiencing. How someone treats you reflects their reality. How you react reflects yours.
Accept the moment
Practice accepting each moment as it comes, fully and without prejudice. Immerse yourself in the present moment, then release it as the next moment arrives. This form of surrender allows you to be completely present without attaching personal meaning to the circumstances. Recognize that the current situation does not define your worth.
Witness and reflect
Witness and discern the truth. Identify what you think and feel as you act. What have you accepted that might be incorrect? Challenge these beliefs by recalling instances where you have demonstrated the skills or qualities in question. Claim and affirm your strengths. What would you like to hear from your inner guides in these instances? When you feel this in the presence of others, they might be the words they long to hear too.
As you begin to rewrite your programs you will begin to experience the freedom of managing yourself around negative people. Your new thoughts and actions will preserve your peace and you will no longer feel triggered.
Stay alert for other people’s saboteurs. Negative people often project their certainty and confidence in judgment and blame, which can undermine your new programming if you don’t counter it with equal certainty and confidence.
When your worth is disrespected, you now have options as to how to respond. You can assert your boundaries. The forgiveness, compassion, and non-judgment that you have directed at yourself is a training ground for interacting with others in such a way that their saboteurs also begin to transmute.
A useful guideline is to ask, “What would love do?”—both in how you respond to the situation and how you treat yourself. Treat each experience with equanimity, without labeling it in comparison to everything else, but simply as an experience. This perspective helps maintain inner peace and resilience and gives us the freedom to not be enmeshed in any negative program or construct.
